10 tips for parents of young tennis players

Being the parent of a professional athlete is no easy task.

PARENTS AND TENNIS AS A SPORT.

• Focus mainly on work rather than focusing only on tennis results.
• Reward effort and hard work before success. AVOID promoting results alone.
• Introduce and support the perspective that tennis is only a sport that emphasizes its value as a preparation for life. AVOID playing tennis more than life, for example, considering tennis more important than going to school.
• As a parent of tennis, try to understand and empathize with the emotional pressures and complexities of sport in general. AVOID underestimating stress in an individual sport like tennis.
• Give your children tasks and responsibilities that will help them build self-confidence and independence over time. AVOID making children overly dependent on you.
• Make sure that the competitive experience is positive for the children on a principled personal development perspective. Emphasize important elements of sportsmanship, ethics, personal development, responsibility, and a positive attitude towards others. By doing this, share a healthy interest in sports with your child. AVOID making training and competition negative for you or your child.
• Understand that children have the right not only to participate in competitions and training, but also not to participate.
• Let your child feel that you care and are there if he needs your help. AVOID getting overly involved in your child’s tennis.
• Be prepared to listen and learn. AVOID the thought that you know everything about tennis.

PARENTS, THEIR SONS AND Daughters.

• Be prepared to be emotionally supportive and reassuring especially when your children are facing difficult times. AVOID using punishments and withdrawals of love, affection, and warmth to get your children to try harder and better.
• Make your child feel highly valued and build up their self-esteem especially when they fail. TRY not to criticize your children’s results.
• Let’s make it clear that your child is playing and you will be there for him and cheer him up if he wants to. AVOID phrases such as “We are playing today” as if you were going to be on the court too.
• Recognize your child’s tennis performance, but “put the kids on their feet” by keeping athletic performance in perspective. AVOID placing them on a pedestal.
• Emphasize that: “Win or lose, I love you all the same.” AVOID frustrated states and different treatment when he loses.
• Stay during the match and show your child, without overreacting to positive or negative situations, that regardless of the score, you are not indifferent and you appreciate his efforts. AVOID dodging matches because your child is in trouble.
• Ask questions like “How was the match?” “How did you play?”; “Did you not like it?” that show. that you care about your child and his work / pleasure rather than the result. AVOID the question, “Have you won / won?” after your child returns from the match.
• AVOID overtraining, as a result of which the desire to play tennis disappears. Don’t forget that your child is still growing.
• Provide support (financially and otherwise) by showing that you are happy to support your child’s participation in tennis. AVOID provoking the child’s guilt by making him feel indebted to you for time, money and what you sacrificed for him.
• Try to encourage your child to be independent and think for themselves. AVOID prompting from the sidelines of the court.
• After your child’s loss, putting the loss in perspective, emphasizing that it is only a tennis match. However bad the result, the world has not disappeared and the sun will rise again tomorrow. AVOID verbal abuse or physical punishment of your child, especially after losing.
• Try to be honest and consistent when talking with your child about his tennis. AVOID Lying.
• Encourage your child to take responsibility for his success or failure, to face the reality during the match and his actions with courage (eg “it was the same cover for both of you”), the main goal should be regardless of the conditions, to help them focus on trying. Then they will always be “true winners”. AVOID making excuses for your child (“court is too slow, opponent was better, blame the judge …).
• Show your interest in your child’s tennis by attending tournaments occasionally. However, AVOID attending every training session and every match.
• Let the coach decide how much your child should exercise. AVOID criticizing your child for refusing to play more / less or forcing / forcing him to exercise. Remember, when it comes to training, quality is more important than quantity.
• Understand the dangers / risks of stress and look for signs (insomnia, hyper criticism, deception, etc.). AVOID feeling insensitive about your child’s expressions of insecurity and anxiety caused by competing.
• The only expectation that you should have from your child’s participation in tennis is that tennis will help your child become a personality and a physically developed person. Anything else additionally will be a bonus. AVOID assuming or expecting your child to be a successful pro athlete.
• Encourage your child to engage in other sports, build relationships, and participate in other activities. AVOID forcing your child to focus entirely on tennis.
• Compare your child’s progress with their own abilities / goals. AVOID comparing your child’s progress to that of other children.
• Try to motivate your child in a positive and caring way (eg, positive uplift). A 3: 1 ratio of positive comments to every negative one is a good guideline for achieving effective feedback with your child. AVOID worrying or using sarcasm to motivate your child.
• Make sure the child respects the principles of good sportsmanship, behavior and ethics. AVOID ignoring your child’s bad behavior (cheating, using offensive language and words, or disrespecting others) or skipping critical areas of your child’s development at the expense of tennis. If this type of behavior occurs, then intervene quickly and be prepared to act if the behavior is unacceptable.
• Reward your child for who he is as a person, not as a tennis player. DO NOT create dependencies between special privileges, prizes, awards, etc. , and winning tennis.
• Understand that you and your child must share other interests and will often need a break from tennis. AVOID arguing and spending too much time talking about tennis with your child.
• Your child’s well-being and well-being is the most important task. AVOID making your child’s tennis more important to you than your child.
• Understand that tennis players usually need a little privacy when they are losing. Patronage or a dispassionate word of encouragement is often sufficient when a player leaves the court. You can discuss the match when they are calmer and less emotional. AVOID forcing your child to talk to you immediately after losing.
• Take your injuries seriously and if in doubt, consult a doctor. Don’t ignore pain and never force your child to play when they are injured.

THE PARENTS THEMSELVES.

• Try to look confident, contented, determined, calm and relaxed during matches. HIDE negative emotions, especially if you are nervous or angry around the court (for example, when your child makes a stupid mistake).
• Maintain your sense of humor and try to have fun with your child’s tennis. AVOID negative actions or seem overly critical. We know it takes emotional control to be a good tennis parent.
• Stick to your parenting role. DO NOT try to coach your child (i.e. get too involved in strategy, technique, etc.)
• Live your own life besides tennis. Remember that you also have personal needs. Don’t neglect them completely! Don’t try to make some of your unfulfilled dreams come true with your child’s tennis.
• Celebrate and be generous in your applause for the use and efforts of your child’s opponents. AVOID ignoring or criticizing your child’s opponent.